Wedding Planning by DJ Phred

I know I am getting off the wedding planning track today but I recently received a very disturbing email from a supposedly “Professional” organization that I belong to and want to talk about ethics and professionalism today. How does this affect your wedding planning? I keep talking about the importance of choosing “Professional Wedding Vendors” for you wedding but even if you are not going to be getting married it is important to know you are working with professionals and not “fly by night” scoundrels. Those can be found by the thousands on Craigslist and typically call themselves “professional” DJs or Photographers or what have you. Just because someone calls themself a professional doesn’t mean they are!! Check their references.

So what about this email? It came from the office of AFWPI, Association for Wedding Professionals International and really got me thinking about how or why an organization that is very respected around the industry and has its own code of ethics would try to help out a DJ that appears to be unethical and is definitely being unprofessional. It seems that this DJ had agreed to do a benefit dinner event for a non profit association helping special needs children the first part of May. Wonderful, we all do benefits now and then and they are really great for the Karma. Well, in this email the DJ says he now has to “work” that night and can’t do the non profit benefit!! What a crock of BS!! He is booked for a nonpaying event so he is simply blowing off the non profit special needs kids to book a paying event. This is against just about any ethical or professional code. Now he is expecting a professional, ethical group like AFWPI to help him screw over this non profit group and find him another DJ so he doesn’t look like the creep that he is. Once you have said yes to an event; even a non profit event and actually especially for a non profit event you do not back out under any circumstances except possibly your own death! Yes, emergencies do come up but obviously this is not an emergency, the event is not until May and this is March! He should not have taken the other gig knowing that he was booked for the non profit gig! This is very bad Karma. I think the Beatles said it best when they sang “Instant Karma gonna get you.” I certainly wouldn’t want this DJ’s Karma. His van will most likely break down on his way to his paying gig and then his equipment will malfunction all night long. I wouldn’t want to be the couple that hired his bad Karma either!!!

This whole thing has made me take a close look at the AFWPI the past few days. I have been associated with them for a few years now and they have been a pretty much upstanding group and most of the people I have met that are members are professional and ethical and I doubt would ever screw over any client let alone a non profit group that is extremely dependent on your generous donation of time and services. The fact that they would even send this email out to their membership really has me thinking that when my membership expires this year that I do not want to be any part of this organization and I will not be renewing my membership. It seems that just about anyone can simply pay a couple hundred dollars and be a member no matter how unprofessional or unethical they are and I do not want my company associated with this type of organization.

Any thoughts on this? Oh yes, I have thought about how nice the AFWPI is in trying to help out the non profit organization by finding them another DJ for their event but the bottom line is that the original DJ should have been professional enough to turn down the other “work” as he puts it and live up to his obligations to the non profit group. Just think about how you would feel if you had this DJ booked for your wedding and a month or so before he called and told you he couldn’t do your wedding because he had to “work”! Not very professional but last year I got 5 calls from couples whose DJ had backed out on them at the last minute for whatever reason. Unfortunately most of these couples had only budgeted $300 -$500 for a cheap DJ and could not afford my services even when I discounted my fees. Hire Professionals to begin with and you will get professional service!

Thanks for letting me rant. I’ll get back to planning your wedding on my next post.

Whether tis nobler…….. ok, enough Bill Shakespeare for now! I have had a few questions about tipping plus there was a discussion thread on the Craigslist Wedding forum the other day dealing with tipping your vendors so I thought this might be a good time to touch on that subject.

Folks seem to have gotten carried away with tipping the past few years. It used to be that you tipped service people like waitresses, taxi drivers, etc. for doing a great job and providing outstanding service and if they didn’t do this then they received little or no tip. Nowadays it seems that you are expected to tip every service person even though they don’t deserve it. But tipping is still totally voluntary and up to you. Lets take taxi drivers as an example: The taxi driver’s job is to get you to point B from point A in a timely and safe manner. If he does this you are required to pay the taxi fare. Should you tip the driver for simply doing the job he is already being paid for? Not really although probably every taxi driver out there disagrees with me on this. Now if you get into a taxi and the driver gets you from point A to point B and along the way points out the historical sights of the city, gives you information on where to eat and where to stay, and what to avoid in the city then should you tip the driver? Absolutely! He has gone way above what is required of him in getting you from point A to point B and he deserves a tip. The same holds true with wedding vendors. You will read wedding magazines that say you should always tip your vendors and tell you how much of a tip each should receive. Hogwash!! The only time you should tip any of your vendors is if they exceed your expectations of what you contracted them for. How much to tip the vendors you want to tip is totally up to you and depends on your budget and just how far they exceeded your expectations. Should you tip the $50 or $200 or 5% or 20%? That, again, is totally up to you but if you are going to tip a good guideline to go by is 15% to 20% just as you would a waitress in a restaurant. Of course you want to make sure the tip is not already in your bill. Some caterers add in a “service fee” which could be construed as the tip; make sure you find out if the “service fee” is actually a gratuity before tipping at the wedding.

Remember, if you are on a tight budget then your vendors will realize this and should in no way be offended by your not tipping them even if they did a fantastic job. Hiring true wedding professionals for your wedding is expensive and the bar on performance is set even higher when dealing with wedding professionals than if you hired non-wedding professionals as it well should be.

If you have any questions on tipping feel free to email me at djphred@yahoo.com or just hit the “comment” button.

Let’s take a step back and get away from budgeting for today. I would like to cover the steps you should follow when planning your wedding. This is for all you new brides-to-be and grooms-to-be that just got engaged on Valentine’s Day!
First you want to set up an email account just for your wedding since most everything is done by email nowadays and this way you can keep everything wedding related in one email account. Plus once the wedding is over you have the opportunity to simply delete the account and not receive any more mail from wedding vendors, etc.
Step 2 is not to pick a date but to budget! Figure out how much you have or are willing to spend on your wedding. Maybe your budget turns out to be such that waiting a year or 2 to get married will be the best scenario for you. Without a budget in hand you may start your planning and booking and find out that you are running out of money and will have to wait but now you can’t get your deposits back, etc. Budget first!
Step 3, set a date, but not just one date, pick out several dates that would be acceptable to you and go from there. Why several dates? I hear you say. If you really want a certain venue or caterer or photographer or Dj and the date you pick is not available then you will have alternate dates to choose from.
Step 4, book your venue!! Now that you have some dates for your wedding you will want to book the venue first. If it is not available on your preferred date maybe another venue will be or you can book one of your alternate dates.
Step 5, start booking everything else around the venue date. You now have a wedding date! Once you have the place for your wedding then you can start searching for all the other vendors that are going to help make your wedding Phenomenal!! You will also know just what the venue will be providing and what else you will need and the cost. Does the venue provide the food? Great, then you don’t need to hire a caterer…..I think you get the picture. Most venues have a list of “preferred vendors” which can be a helpful place to start but don’t limit yourself to just these. There are plenty of vendors out there that do a great job, maybe even a better job, than those that are recommended by the venue. Just make sure you are hiring professional wedding vendors; there is a huge difference between someone that really knows and works weddings compared to vendors that don’t specialized in weddings. This is especially true when it comes to photographers/videographers and DJs!
If you have a minister at your church that you want to marry you then that should be the next person you hire; hopefully he will be available on your wedding date. Next would be the caterer, if you need one, then photographer, DJ, videographer, limo service, etc. You will also want to start planning and booking your honeymoon at this point.

How long does this all take? That depends on you. Justine and I got engaged on Feb 3rd while on a cruise and we were married on May 28th of the same year. So if you are diligent and your future husband helps then the main planning can be done in a month or two. Remember, planning a wedding is a team effort between you and your future husband; it is a real test to see just how well you work together under stress. After the main vendors are booked then you can take your time, depending on the wedding date, picking out your dress, the invitations, flowers, cake, and all that stuff. Also remember that planning your wedding should be FUN! Have fun, get out and talk to the vendors, interview them, taste their food and their cakes. Make sure that there is a good fit between you and each of your vendors and you are confident in them. This way you will allow them to take the stress off of you and allow you to have even more fun planning your wedding and really be able to enjoy your wedding day.

Justine and I are back from our wonderful cruise to Mexico on the Carnival Spirit. We spent 8 wonderful days at sea and visiting Acapulco, Ixtapa/Zihuatanejo, and Manzanillo Mexico. This is a great cruise for anyone tired of cruising to Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan, and Puerto Vallerta. Cruise prices are really low right now so if you are thinking of cruising anywhere now is the time to book. Just give me a call at 800-337-9422 or 916-201-7618 and I’ll be happy to book it for you.

Well, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day! Let me be the first to wish all of you couples that get engaged tomorrow a big hearty CONGRATULATIONS!

Let’s get back to Budgeting. You have hopefully gone through your finances and come up with the “Bottom Line” of what you can spend on your wedding. Now, find your comfort zone which would be how much of that bottom line are you really comfortable spending on your wedding and write that figure down. Ok, you have that all set so let’s figure out where that money is going to be spent.

Unless you are planning on running off to Vegas and getting married in the Little Chapel of Chimes, etc. then you will need to spend your money on a lot of different vendors. You will need a venue for the ceremony and reception; this could be 2 seperate places or just one depending on then venue you pick for the reception. Say you are on a pretty small budget and choose to have the reception at the local VFW or Moose hall but they don’t really have a great spot for the ceremony then you have to look around for a ceremony spot such as the Capital Rose Garden or your church, etc. If you want to do the ceremony and reception at the same place then you have a multitude of choices around Northern California. A lot of Wineries, such as Renwood Winery where Justine and I got married have really beautiful areas outdoors where you can have the ceremony and then you can move inside for your reception or keep the reception outside, your choice. Of course if you want the ceremony and reception to be totally outside (weather permitting) or totally inside there are many many venues that can handle that also. Simply take a look at Sacramento Bride and Groom Magazine or go to www.afwpi.com to find the venues that cater to and take really good care of their bridal couples.

You will also need an Officiant to marry you; and no the officiants do not do this for free. If you attend church regularly, you might want to have your favorite Pastor do the honors. If not then you will need to find someone to perform the ceremony. There are a lot of Officiants around Northern California that do an excellent job. Plan on spending probably $100 – $500 for a good Officiant. You can also ask a friend or relative to do the ceremony. If they are not already an Ordained Minister they can simply go to the Universal Life Church website at www.ulc.org and easily become ordained right on line for free. I did and even though I have never performed a wedding I could legally do so if the Minister should not show up at one of the weddings I am entertaining at. They can also go to the County where you are getting married and get a certificate from them to be a minister for the day. Cost will depend on the County.

You will need to budget for a professional wedding DJ or Band, Food (of course) and catering services unless this is provided/included in the price of your venue, videographer, wedding coordinator, invitations, STD’s or Save The Date cards which is totally optional, flowers, wedding cake, wedding dress, and tuxedo for the groom. Some of the above are optional and we’ll discuss them further next week. You will also need to spend some of that budget on a Photographer unless you have a friend or family member that has a really good camera and good eye for photography. More about this at a later date. There are a lot of more minor things you will need to budget for also such as favors, gifts for the bridal party, hairdo for the wedding day, etc. Of course we can’t forget the Honeymoon!! You will want to set aside anywhere from $2,000 to $6,000 for the Honeymoon.

Next week we’ll talk about how much some of these will cost you but in the meantime start calling around to these vendors to get a range of prices and make appointments to meet with the various vendors to see just what they offer for the price. Where do you find these people? You can pick up a local wedding magazine such as Sacramento Bride and Groom or go to the Association for Wedding Professionals website at http://www.afwpi.com to get a list of vendors that specialize in weddings. If you would like a free copy of Sacramento Bride and Groom Magazine, Sacramento’s premier wedding magazine then give me a call at 916-201-7618 and come by West Sacramento and pick one up. You’ll even get the chance to talk to one of Northern California’s premier wedding DJ’s while you are at it.

Happy Valentine’s Day once again!

Hi Everyone,
Due to circumstances way beyond my control; gads has it been busy lately, the next blog post will be February 12th.

Just keep working on those budgets and on Mr. Lincoln’s birthday we’ll talk more about where that money will go.

Thanks,

DJ Phred

Ok, You’re engaged and you’ve set up an email account just for the wedding like I mentioned in an earlier blog. So what is next? Budget!! It is time for you and fiance` to sit down in a quiet place without distractions and figure out your budget for the wedding. You really need to do this before you start calling around and getting prices on venues, caterers, photographers, DJs, etc. since you need to know how much you have to spend, or how far you are willing to go into debt, before you find out prices. You really don’t want those prices affecting your early budgeting; they probably will later on anyway and you can then adjust your budget to reflect that but right now you simply want a bottom line figure that is not skewed by prices you have received. Your budget will determine if you can afford that fancy wedding you have been dreaming about since you were 12 or if you are going to simply go to Las Vegas and have Elvis marry you.

I can’t help set your budget for you; only you know what you have and what you are comfortable spending which is why you should be in a place without distractions when you and your fiance` sit down to discuss this. Take a very close look at both of your financial situations individually and what they look like combined. Look at income and expenses and try to project future income as much as possible. Now, look at your credit situation; do you have credit cards that can be paid down now to give you a larger wedding budget? Also, who is going to be paying the majority of the wedding bills? Are your parents going to help out or even take care of the bulk of the bills or is it all on you? Armed with all that information, figure out just how much you can spend on the wedding. Just get a bottom line total figure, how much are you willing to put out and how much are you willing to put on credit cards. If parents are helping out now is the time to get a firm commitment from them as to how much help they are going to give. Don’t just get an answer from them like “oh, we’ll take care of the food”, get a firm figure from them or at least a dollar range so you know what to budget for the food. If you don’t get a figure then you can run into problems down the line when it comes time to pay your vendors. If your parents are taking care of the food and they are planning on 100 guests at $10 a plate but you hire a caterer that charges $30 a plate then someone will have to come up with the extra $2000, and it will probably be you.

So you’ve gone through all that and you now have a bottom line as to how much you are willing to spend on your wedding. That bottom line will determine just what kind of wedding you are going to have and where it will be. Now you can start emailing or calling around to individual vendors and get prices.

Next week we will discuss more on budgeting and where your money is going to go; how much or what percentage of your budget should go where. In the meantime pick up a copy of Sacramento Bride and Groom Magazine, if you are in Northern Ca., or a local wedding publication and start dreaming. National publications such as Bride Magazine are nice to get ideas but what you really want is a local publication so you can call/email the local vendors for pricing. Some of the wedding publications have budget helpers which are great ways to start planning on just what you are going to need and what you aren’t going to need for your wedding. Just look at their pricing as a vague guideline and we will talk about reality next week. If you do live in the Sacramento area just give me a call and come on by for your free issue of Sacramento Bride and groom.
A thought for the day: you can’t budget how much you are going to spend on each aspect of your wedding until you know how much you are willing to spend on the whole wedding!
Thanks for reading. If you have any questions or have a topic you would like covered just click on the “comments” button or email me at djphred@yahoo.com.

Fred Heartt/ DJ Phred

Once again, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I can’t believe it is Friday already. Time flies when you’re busy.

So, you’re planning your wedding and the question comes up; Should we get a band or a DJ for the reception? I know you are probably thinking that as a wedding DJ I am going to say DJ! When I started Let’s Party!!! Mobile DJ Service back in 1996 I would have unequivically said DJ since back then DJs where much less expensive than most bands but now in 2010 my answer is simply it is up to you. Bands have come down in price and DJs have gone up. I’ll be the first to tell you that there is nothing better than kicking back and listening to a great band perform; I love it. On the other hand, there is nothing worse than listening to a mediocre band stumble through song after song off key and out of sync. So now what you want to look at when deciding between a band and a DJ is what you envision your reception to be and go for it.

Let’s take a look at hiring a band for your wedding reception. First you need to decide what kind of band you want, Country,Disco, R&B, Rock, Jazz etc. Unlike in the movie “The Wedding Singer” or the TV program “The Wedding Bells” (anyone remember that big hit?) in the Sacramento/Northern California area we don’t have a lot of Wedding only bands that you can go listen to and audition. Most of the bands around this area play one type of music really well and can play some songs in another Genre ok; i.e The Beer Dawgs are a fantastic country band and actually play some great rock and roll, an exception to the rule and I would highly recommend them if you are looking for a band. Other bands play Rock and Roll really good but are lacking in Country and R&B and disco. I think you get the idea. If you basically want a one dimensional reception then a band is a good way to go. Oh, and don’t ask for them to play any requests out of their normal genre, just not going to happen unless you are very lucky.

Bands do not generally run a wedding, they are there to perform not to emcee and take you through all the toasts and formalities so be prepared to hire an emcee along with the band.

Even though I love listening to live bands I do have a couple of major complaints about most bands and the first is “dead air”. You will notice that almost all bands finish a song and stop and discuss the next song or whatever for 30 seconds to 2 minutes before starting to play the next song even if they have their play list in front of them. This is “dead air” and I absolutely hate that. The people you had up dancing have gone and sat down or headed to the bar before the next song starts and there is no continuity. Also, bands take breaks; typically they play about a 45 minute set and then take a 20 to 30 minute break or longer!! This means that in the middle of your reception your guests are sitting around listening to a cd the band put on, maybe, or in silence waiting for the band to return, or even worse, leaving your reception.

Hiring a professional wedding DJ for your wedding means that you will be able to pick any genre at any time during the evening. If you want R&B your DJ can play that. Country, no problem. Jazz, no problem. Rock, Disco…….NO problem! And in most cases the songs will sound just like the original artists that recorded them. Your DJ will be the emcee for your wedding and run the whole event without blinking an eye so there will be no need to hire someone to emcee it. Your DJ can provide music and microphones for your wedding ceremony and will be at your rehearsal to run it; something I don’t think any band will do. A professional wedding DJ will have at least 15,000 songs in their library and will take requests from you and your guests and will have most of those requests. Even after 14 years in the business it never fails that someone will come up with a request for a song that I do not have.

You’ll notice that I use the term “professional wedding DJ” a lot. There is a huge difference in a DJ that does this as a hobby and one that really specializes in weddings. If you are getting quotes from DJs for your wedding reception and are getting quotes less than $1200 then you are probably calling hobbiests that take any gig that comes along and do really good at kids birthday parties, etc but don’t have clue as to how to run a wedding. I will delve more into this in a week or so. But just let me say this: If you need brain surgery you are going to go to a brain surgeon and not a podiatrist even though the podiatrist assures you he can remove that brain tumor, right. Well then, why not go to a DJ that specializes in weddings; since your wedding is the most important day of your life, and make sure it is done correctly rather than taking a chance that the party DJ is going to screw it up. Like I have said before; the DJ you choose for your wedding can either “run” it or “Ruin” it and there is no second chance. Make sure you hire a professional wedding DJ that will “run” your wedding properly.

I’ll continue this next week.

Happy New Year Everyone!! We are currently on vacation in Florida and will be back with more wedding planning tips next Friday.

I will leave you with one thought for the new year; You get what you pay for! This is extremely true when it comes to hiring professional wedding entertainment. Don’t forget, this is the most important day of your life and if the person/people you hire to entertain are not truely professional in every way you don’t get a second chance. Make sure you hire a professional wedding DJ team that knows how to run a wedding not just someone that plays cds!
Your wedding DJ can RUN your wedding or RUIN your wedding. Don’t skimp!
Once again, Happy New Year!!

Merry Christmas! My apologies for not getting any new tips on here but my web site has been down for a couple of weeks. It seems my web host did not renew my domain name like they were supposed to do automatically. everything is cleared up now and we are back in business.

Ahhhhh, Christmas! Congratulations to the thousands of you that got engaged. Did you see it coming or was it a huge surprise? Doesn’t matter, either way it means that you and your boyfriend (Fiance`) are now headed on the most exciting  journey of your life. Plan wisely! Ask lots of questions from those in the wedding business! And come back here every Friday for more tips on planning your wedding.

My tip for this week is to simply go back to my last blog post and follow it.

Merry Christmas!!